The right place...

“I can’t live my life looking for the right place”…
These are the words a friend said to me recently. There is an air in the world, sadness and a loss of hope. The morale in the country and the world, in general, is at a low and it is challenging. I am worn to the bone with being the one that people turn to and vent, deal, and let all their angst pour from them only to do nothing about it .

Do not get me wrong, oh how I love to help people and listen and be supportive to them. The big thing though I notice is a huge sense of impending doom. No matter how much I try and be supportive it would seem that I end up within a week or so hearing the same problems from the same people. The resolve is never there and it seems like the issues that the person I talk to is that nothing will ever change.

The whole idea of the defeatist is too much for me to take on anymore. The truth is I am not a therapist and I do not get paid to take on the world. I would love to think that my words are making a difference and that there is a hope that my life experience has brought to some.

The truth is that, as I hear many times, my experience is only that… MINE… I cannot and will no longer take on the role of fixer upper to people who refuse to take responsibility or move forward on their own accord.
We all go through lows and highs. We all have the chance to learn new things in life. We all have the chance to break the mold of what we are used to and create a new identity for ourselves. Not one of is bound by the ropes we have bound ourselves in. These are just t he constraints whereby we hold ourselves hostage.

For some though it takes time. Time to find your directions and our bearings. I truly believe that if you search you will find yourself. The hard truth is that sometime we have to be patient. A skill I am not very well versed at yet.
So in response to my friends statement at the beginning… maybe the goal isn’t to look for the right place but instead create the place within yourself.

A Howard the Duck moment...

A couple years ago a friend and I were hanging out and trying to figure out a movie to watch. We turned on the cable free movie guide and looked to see what was available and looked good. As we scrolled we stopped and saw the listing for “Howard the Duck”. Feeling very nostalgic, we set the movie up and ordered a pizza.

As we sat we were so excited to re-live our youth and enjoy a movie we remembered as something very fun and youthful. It started and at once I had the memory of watching the movie the first time it came out on video. At that stage of my life I had not seen anything like that. A duck-man from another planet that somehow comes to earth and tries to figure life out while trying to get back home.

So fast forward 12 years, sitting there the movie started. About 10 minutes in I looked over to my friend who seemed to be enjoying it. A few minutes later he looked over at me and said “am I wrong or is this horrible”. Phew I was so glad to know that I was not alone in that assessment.

Every since then I have deemed the phrase for things that were once something that seemed magical but are more faded over time as an adult. I have since had many moments like that. The most prevalent moments have been when I return to my home In Spokane, WA. I went to a restaurant feeling nostalgic for a burger at a local chain called Zip’s. Trying a particular burger I was so excited and upon taking my first bite the memory was not the way I had thought it was. The taste was bland and unfulfilling.

I wonder what it is that ingrains the memories in our mind and how they get so set so far inside that they don’t fade. I watch a lot of movies now and wonder if these will be “Howard The Duck moments”. It is so hard to think that you cannot relive the memories as they were and bring the same energy back that you had then.

I wonder sometimes if there are memories that are created that can live up to the ones we had when we were younger. Is that why some of memories just fade away? Can we create new ones that will someday live up to the ones we had in the past? I know that I have a knack of remember so many things in my life it is a blessing and curse.

I hope to have less “Howard The Duck” moments. But I also hope along the way I can create lasting memories that will stay true to form and not fade as much over the time. I am at a great place in my life and I want to keep them all inside my head.