Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Taffy Blessings...

"Do you want to meet taffy or is it a bad idea?" 15:02 Aug 8



These words make me smile, tear up, feel moved in so many ways. This was the text message Jacob sent me after finishing up an appointment.



I was not sure how serious he was when he pointed out taffy the little terrier on a craigslist ad. For the past year or so Jacob has been sending me lists of dogs at the humane society, on craigslist, or other pet sites. I honestly did not know if he was serious.



I could not picture that we had room, time or even enough energy to add another little one to our brood. Being the pet lover's we both are I wanted to ensure that we could provide the ultimate amount of love.



Well after many pictures I replied to Jacob "No. Sounds cool" to which he replied "LOL. Oh boy." After meeting her we knew in our heart that there would be no way we would be leaving without her sweet demeanor and her sweet brown eyes. She probably used a spell on us (that is right too much true blood).



The right home was dreaming as we started to talk about the ways to get her fixed and acclimated to our home. Upon getting to Petsmart to get a new leash and harness BOOM!!!! It all changed.



Long story short we ended up chasing our new child through a parking lot and through heavy traffic that ended up with her being hit by two cars. After a week of back and forth vets we found that she has a fracture in her hip. We are now having her heal as best as we can to hopefully avoid surgery.



The one thing that I can truly say is that I am so very much in love with our new "child". I have seen the most amazing side of my partner through this too. I used to think that I was with a man to liked animals and had a deep heart for them. But his compassion for this little girl has made me fall even deeper in love with him. He has a heart of gold that is just so open.



I feel so lucky to add this little angel to our life. She fits in with our family very will and shows me that I was wrong. I think we needed to have her in our life. The outpouring from family and friends on behalf of a cute little Maltese Terrier, some have not even met yet, is just too much to fathom. The prayers and good energy sent to our family have been being answered and we feel them all.



I am so moved by our new little one and I truly feel blessed to have the family I have always dreamt about.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Transparent....

Sometimes breaking yourself open and exposing yourself has a freeing quality to itself.



I have spent the better part of my life so scared to look at and even accept the past that I have was painful and traumatic. There is a part of me that tends to still think about how I could have changed the pain.



The truth is I am not a perfect human being but a few weeks ago in the moment of self reflection (Oddly this usually happens in one of two places: The shower-- I blame it on being made clean and you are so vulnerable and when I am on the MAX (Portland’s Light rail system). I was hit with the idea that maybe it was just time to just own it.



Since then I have been feeling as if each moment should not be taken granted of, each relationship reflected upon, and my soul being nurtured. My partner likes to joke "when will your inner child just shut up". I sometimes feel as if being open and honest is the only true way to live.



I have mad e conscience decision at this stage of my life to live more transparent than I have in the past. I watch people I know that live the opposite. I watch my brother who is less than three years younger than me choose to run away from the past. He chooses to see the past as something that does not really exist anymore so it is irrelevant.



I personally feel that he is doing a disservice to not only his son and his wife (who constantly is trying to nap snippets of who he is with me) but the biggest disservice is to himself. If you cannot own your past and accept what made you who you are how can you truly grow and become your authentic self?



The best compliment that my partner has repeatedly told me is that he is proud of whom I am and proud of the person I stand for. He knows that I am just me and you know if that means dancing in a grocery store, talking too much or exposing myself and my tattoos on a national news network he trusts that what I am doing is the right decision.



I think what I am most proud of, at this stage, is that I am able to be my authentic self and to be able to remain transparent in a world that I feel is all to many times trying to put on a face and front in order to cover who they are. At this point in my life I feel I have nothing to lose.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

CNN Article on HIV and Tattoo's

I was privileged and honored to be interviewed and got to share my HIV story as well as the story of my Tattoo's.

You can see this here:
http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/08/10/hiv.tattoos/index.html