Year 2010 is ending and oh what a year it has been. I look back and it seems that 2010 would be, in my mind, the year I came into my own sense of self awareness and much appreciation.
Of course the most amazing new change has been that I am no longer a lifetime Washingtonian. Nope. Now I am an Oregonian. That is correct; I fled the state of Washington to live with my love.
I started out looking in my new surroundings to find a purpose, a friend, new energy, maybe even all the above. But what I really have been finding, surprisingly, is myself. I have been in a place for so many years of working and watching and not worked to be invested in my own moments.
I have learned that I am worth trusting my own judgment and inner voice. That I am a better judge than I have ever given myself credit for having.
I have watched the past year as I develop myself and in the process develop a love and relationship that is stronger than I have ever dreamt I could ever have. I wake up and everyday think "is this really my life". I am so blessed (I stopped using the word lucky) to be in love not only with an amazing man but a man that teaches me so much every day. A man, who is my best friend. A man,which consistently accepts me for being neurotic, goofy, and with all my faults. A man that I find more and more I laugh and truly just enjoy being with on a daily basis.
I have learned that I had a skewed definition of friendship and what true friendship means and what I will stand and not stand for within the walls of friendship and family. I will not be kicked in the ground and I will not be taken advantage of anymore. I have learned to set limits and have enough respect for myself and my heart that I will not let some things just be left without being said.
I have learned to accept that I do have so many amazing people in my life that are near and far. I am so so thankful for the ones who teach me that they are true and will not be fair season friends. In particular this year I have had three people who really stand out as being stand outs :) Brandon who has shown me that it is possible to make great friends in life that last. Lacey who I have seen blossom and grow and become her own woman. Joce who has made my transition to Portland so much fun. I have other friends who have been here throughout the year but these three have truly been so touching in their love and caring.
I am a very very blessed person and I am looking forward to 2011. It is a year that I know will be full of more growth and creative endeavors unlike any that I knew I had in me. I just feel it and know it deep down. As for my heart it is so full and brimming to the top with appreciation, love and clarity unlike I have ever had yet in my life.
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