"I do not get why people say they have had TRAUMA. I grew up in India during desert storm. I know real TRAUMA" my coworker, of less than two weeks, states when I make mention of working in healthcare with people who have had TRAUMA.
What is TRAUMA? The dictionary defines TRAUMA as "an experience that produces psychological injury or pain." In fact, recent studies have shown that the impact of childhood TRAUMA can change the entire way that our brain works. This is particularly upsetting in the fact that as children we lack the ability to break away from attachment, emotional, and physical abuses that can be sustained early on. By definition TRAUMA can be a life changing illness, a long term relationship that was toxic, childhood abuse, or any other life altering psychological event (s) that cause pain.
In my case, my early childhood was like a see-saw of good and bad. I have heard stories of how as an infant I was always smiling, loved animals and was by all outside a happy kiddo. I truly have no truth to what those days were like. 17 months after my birth the man I was told was my father passed. My biological mother fell into a world of bad mental health, drinking, and drugs. It was around this age it would seem that I was started to be in the hands of abandonment and neglect. I remember back to being four years old and fending for myself.
Life changed when my first stepfather enter my life. It was here that the TRAUMA began. I used to hate the word TRAUMA or PTSD. It felt like I had not lived enough life to be able to own these concepts. It was during a particularly challenging therapy sessions years ago. My therapist at the time said, you know what you describing is TRAUMA. My usually M.O. was to laugh about serious things and boy I laughed at the moment but then the words haunted me.
About a year ago I was tired of going to therapy. For me, talk therapy had been great over the years. But after so long doing it I was almost able to dictated what the therapist would say before I spoke. I knew I needed a change and started looking at new forms of therapy. We are lucky to live in a time where we have so many forms of therapy.
I decided on EMDR therapy. EMDR therapy, in a nutshell, takes the parts of our of your brain that hold TRAUMA and the parts that hold processing and bring them together to rewrite the TRAUMA experience. I was initially skeptical but after months of therapy with form of therapy I have found that I am actually healing slowly from the TRAUMAS I have lived with for years. These TRAUMAS have held me back for years and made it impossible to live a full life.
I am a firm believer in generational TRAUMA as well. In the past year I have joined 23andme and that has taken me on the most amazing of journeys (more on that later). I recently found my bio maternal uncle. He has been looking for his sister (my bio mom) most his life. In his sharing I have learned a whole family history of physical, emotional, neglect and dark TRAUMAS. I do believe that these are n the core of our genetic make up. On the plus side,We are amazing creatures and have the ability to deal with these TRAUMAs and thereby change our entire family line for the better.
So, as much as I can empathize with what my coworker has been through and experienced in her country, do other people suffer from TRAUMA? Is anyones TRAUMA bigger or easier than another's? I think in the heart of who we are as humans, we all have TRAUMA. No one person's baggage is more or less than another's, it is just different. At the core, are we willing to take steps for a more fulfilling life and deal with the TRAUMA? That is a personal choice.
Many years ago I wrote a song called "Spring" the chorus went:
They say time heals all wounds
Here are mine
Take them for yourself
And when the spring breaks through
You'll me standing here
all by myself
My TRAUMA therapy has helped me be more connected to the world at large, it has helped me have less nightmares, less fear, and made me able to live my best life. The cost is heavy and painful. but worth it. I was never a crier now I am tapped into that part of me that was blank. I am now a cleaner slate ready to take on what comes next.
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