the flux of a cocoon...

Flux... The word flux comes from Latin: fluxus means "flow", and fluere is "to flow"

That is a word I understand. I feel as if one thing that is constant in my life has been a certain flow that has existed since the day I was brought into this world. One life changing event to another flow like over and over.
Lately I feel that there is a new flux happening in my world. It is not so much a change in terms of anything major but a mental state that I never had before. It is a bit clarity and change of consciousness.
It started with a bit of, letting go, of the cyber world. No more texts from twitter, less time on Facebook. I am working towards calling or at least texting people more often. Trying harder to keep connected to the real world.
The scary part was, in reaching out there came a point that I started to let go of some people. I realized that there are many people who would rather live online and in a reality far from the reaches of human contact.
There have also been many new connections and popping my head and I feel that I have finally let the brick wall down that I had up for year and years. I think a big part of this is due to the nurturing and caring that has been in my life. I am starting to see what true love and caring are by my definitions.
The brick wall has now been replaced by a cocoon...
I feel like I have wrapped myself up and finishing putting myself together. Unlike the brick wall that I had around me for so long the cocoon is a bit more fragile, but it is not built to protect but more to nurture myself. Hold myself in place while I continue to grow into what I should.
I have had this overwhelming sense that this cocoon will continue to heal me in many ways to prepare of this chapter of my life I am currently on. I have so much support and I am learning to ride out my feelings. My partner helps me everyday realize that I am so blessed. I feel that I am learning to enjoy the simple moments and not take so many things for granted. Sometimes, just seeing dutchess playing or the cats cuddling can make a whole day better. A simple I love you can make my day seem brighter.
I am so thankful for everyone in my life who is here and able to just let me grow every day.