L is for Life Lessons

Getting older is hard.

It takes a certain finesse to navigate all the changes. Seasons change us all inside and out.

I am losing my hair. I miss my red wavy hair. I miss being skinny. I miss feeling youthful. I miss feeling overly hopeful about the dreams in my brain. I miss amazing music and better movies. I miss the chance to tell people I love that I love them.

 As I am writing this I am listening to the band October Project and feeling a bit reminiscent. One of my new favorite obsessions is re listening to music from when I was younger. Now that technology of Spotify exists I am able to listen to artists albums all over from the first album to current. Currently I am enjoying revisiting The Pet Shop Boys. I have listened to the catalogs of The Cure, Depeche Mode, Tori Amos, and other artists. I am three albums into the Pet Shop Boys and remember why I loved them so much.

 My cousin sent me via Facebook last week. I was 19 years old. I was about to marry a gal I had met through a music store in my hometown of Spokane, WA. I still remember when the picture was taken. I actually obsessed looking at the picture wondering what happened to that guy. I tried to emulate the smile and was not able to make it look the same as hard as I tried.

I started thinking though:
What life lessons have I learned from that time. I think about what I would tell that 19 year old kid. I would tell him a lot, here are a few things:

Hey Michael,
You will find yourself. You will morph and change and be reborn so many times you will be exhausted. You will lose your faith and gain it back more than you thought imaginable. You will find your birth family and your roots. You will find that you were placed in the best home you could imagine. You will not lose your wonderment of the world. No matter what anyone tells you, jaded views won't be part of your fate. People will find you funny. You will meet some of the most amazing people and some of them you will lose. You will learn that therapy works. You will find that you are very resilient and it will serve you well. You will struggle to find love and will find someone who makes you feel safe and makes you feel at home. You will lose your hair and gain many wrinkles. You will struggle to find work that you love but it will happen. You won't stop singing. most importantly you will be ok. You will find a peace in life and enjoy moments big and small. You will learn some lessons but you will also maintain a strength you did not know you even had. You will love and be loved,

I may not have life perfected but I think that is a good thing. Sometimes a little self reflection can make us better. I am excited to see what life lessons are ahead for me.