'00's -- My Grand Decade

In writing about the New Year there is so many thought on my mind. Writing about the year 2009 was an easy task. Writing about the decade is harder. How do you look at a decade and contemplate all the changes that have taken place? all that happened? I feel more like.. What didn’t happen?

The first, and most obvious change that occurred, was my writing. I discovered the world of blogging. Thank GOD. It was my sanity and I am thankful for that. I love writing getting my thoughts out and being able to go back and see how far I have come. It has been a journey of slowly coming out my shell more and more. I share my heart and soul and withhold less and less.

I discovered the world of Independent music. Now, I feel like I would be lost musically without the likes of Eric Himan, Casey Stratton, Christopher Dallman, Aiden James, Sacha Sacket, Gregory Douglass, Ryan Mintz just to name a few of the many I have learned to love.. I became inspired. I started to learn about how hard some people work for their art. Never taking that for granted has meant the world.

I did take most of the decade off to not work on my own music. The decade that was the 90's I wrote close to 100 songs and just became disillusioned. I worked so hard and ended up having it all blow up in my face. That will be changing in this next decade. Though the hiatus was needed as I had to live some life and see the world a bit more.

In the last decade I dated, (a lot). But I am glad I did. As each person that I dated taught me more and more about myself and who I was, where I was going, what I wouldn't tolerate and what made me happy. I ended the decade on a great note with my search concluded. I walked away with stories, experiences, and the chance to grow into who I am now. I am thankful I get to end the decade with Jacob for showing me true love that is so undeniable.

I winded my way through many groups of friends, many characters, many seasons. I ended the decade once again with a very close knit group of people who are so supportive, caring and open hearted. I know that I am not alone and that I have support all over the country, world even. I am so Thankful for Brandon, Dawn, Rose, Heidi, Lacey. Austin, of course Dutchess, and others I know I will forget some more but you all know who you are. I feel truly supported and embraced.

I moved away from my home for the first time in my life to the "big city" of Seattle. Funny, when I moved to Seattle it was seen to me as a huge metropolis. I remember, vividly, my mom calling me and so worried. Seattle was my first adventure on my own here away from Spokane. My “Wide Open Spaces” phase. Speaking to my mom on the phone one night while waiting for a bus, she started to cry and said she was so worried about me. Those days are way past and now my mom cries wishing I would just come home more often. She has stated many times how proud she is of me and I feel it.

I moved back to Spokane shortly, 2006. Once there my mom said that she knew I had a home in Seattle, that I no longer belonged in Spokane. I knew as well. The night of December 11th, on a Seattle visit, I stood on the Alaskan Way bridge watching the city with my friend Lee. The city moved and glowed so brightly. The following week I moved back to Seattle.

Though the distance from my family has been hard, it has also brought us closer together. More than I ever planned. My mom and I are closer than we have been in my whole life. I have amazing siblings and cousins and grandparents that showed me that as we get older much disputes, pain, and indifferences gets settled in the dust that is the past. Sadly my Grandpa didn’t get to see the decade end (close though) but I know that he was proud of me and who I have become.

I have learned about myself and at the core WHO I am. I have confronted the monsters deep in me and fought off the demons that battled my inner being. I have challenged my beliefs, challenged my perceptions. I have embraces all aspects of the Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender world. I have learned to stand up for what I believe

The start of 2010 looks to be more adventures and moving to the next place and stage in my further development. I hope to look back in ten years and say that I have grown even more.

So, for now, thank you ‘00’s. You were the decade of change and acceptance for me.

Here is to forever and this life so unkind…..